Christmas on a yacht?
I am going to start my series of festive posts with a rather unusual topic. Some of you will spend their Christmas or New Year’s on sunny beaches in the Maldives. And I am sure that those of you have already started preparing: going to the gym more often, fake tan, and all sorts of skin pampering. That’s all very nice but what I want to tell you about is what should a lovely lady do once she arrives at the 5 star resort in Mexico.
Should I mention how 90s frying in the sun at 1PM is? I don’t think there’s anyone left on this planet- at least those living in the civilised world- who doesn’t know that sun is BAD for your skin. And as long as you take your bottles of San Tropez tanning mousse you don’t need to soak all the sun in the actual Saint Tropez in your skin. Acceptable hours for sunbathing and swimming in the sea or outdoor pools are between 7 and 10AM and 4 and 7PM. Between 10 and 4 you can sit nicely under a good quality umbrella and with a shirt or dress on and read a book or even better, go back to the hotel and take a nap with a lavender sleeping mask on your eyes.
When it comes to beach DOs and DON’Ts, the rules are pretty simple:
- no make up. Really, NO make up while on the beach.
- no jewellery or accessories other than big sunglasses and a big hat. Please leave the big bangles and tribal necklaces for hipsters and those who go camping.
- have at least 3 or 4 bikinis and swimming suits if you are staying for more than 1 week and make the effort to find the ones that suit you best. There’s nothing more hideous than thongs, so don’t think about that option. Not even if you are on Ipanema beach.
- never ever go for lunch in your bikini or with a big scarf tied around your waist. That’s not an outfit. If you leave the beach at 10 (as you should) there’s plenty of time to shower, hydrate your skin and put on a lovely dress. Same goes for breakfast-just because you are going to hit the beach soon, it doesn’t mean other people should have their eggs florentine with a side of your derriere.
- packing for a holiday at the seaside can be painful. As long as you separate all your lotions and potions that you will need ( a lot of sunscreen and a lot of shampoo- enough to wash your hair after every dip in the sea because the wavy beach hair only looks good on Kate Moss) the rest is not that complicated: pack light summer dresses, maxi skirts and loose shirts for day and beautiful white trousers, glitzy dresses or a white tux for evenings and parties. Roman sandals for daytime- no flip flops, please and fierce stilletos for glamorous parties on a yacht. But as long as you have enough beauty products, you don’t need your Valentino gowns and tons of make-up.
- in terms of manners, you should consult your book before going on a vacation where you know you’ll be attending yacht parties or stay on one for more than 2 days. Also, look up the chapter “seafood” and learn how to eat those oysters properly and gracefully. On such occasions- especially if you are going somewhere luxurious and glamorous, nothing speaks louder about you than your manners. If you don’t take them with you, people might as well just assume you are a high class escort or one of the girls rich men are spending a few days with.
One last thing, always aim for French riviera chic rather than hollywood celebrity caught in a compromising stance.
